Bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, and a degree of attraction may vary over time. This form of sexuality has created a lot of misconception and myth that need to be clarified:
These myths can be observed in the reactions towards bisexuals:
Straight male's reactions: Homophobic, hate and fear both bisexual and gay men, victimize, harass and are physically violent. Straight women's reactions: Towards bisexual men: Misguided fears about AIDS, 'stop sitting on the fence and make up your mind' attitude.
Towards bisexual women: fear they will make sexual overtures and try to 'convert' them to being bisexual.
Gay male's reactions: Bisexual men are really gay, but are in denial, should make up their mind and 'just get over it'.Lesbian's reactions: Distrust, 'sleeping with the enemy', betraying their allegiance to women and feminism, and hanging onto heterosexual privileges through relationship with men.The myths seem to be changing slowly. People have started to question the notion that sexuality has to be labeled.
For those of us whose sexuality doesn't fit neatly into a box it's all very encouraging. As sexologist Alfred Kinsey pointed out, many people's orientation lies somewhere between the extremes of gay and straight. Enforcing simplified categories is claustrophobic, dangerous and inaccurate. It reeks of separatism and results in lying about sexual preference in order to avoid stigma. Too bad if you want to experiment or if - shock horror - you suddenly change your mind.
Bisexuality challenges concepts of sexuality, traditional relationship and family structures, monogamy, gender, and identity. Bisexuals cannot conform or they would not be bisexual. Instead they must re-invent personal ethics and values for themselves, and create responsible lifestyles and relationships that serve their needs even though they do not fit anyone else's rules.
Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.
By Nathalie Himmelrich
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